The Skitzo League Episode 6: Mass Erection

The Skitzo League Episode 6: Mass Erection

by: ArbyMaster458

Guest Starring: Commander Shepard and his crew (Mass Effect Series)

Note: Shepard's crew only shows up in the flashbacks.

*After dinner*

tetsigawind: Well...now that the dinner is done, tell us all about you're adventure Arby.

ArbyMaster458: All right! Everybody gather around, cause this is one juicy story.

Hinata: Oh do tell!

ArbyMaster458: Alright here it goes! Well to start things off, I was fighting Goonter.

*Flashback starts off with the clash*

Goonter: You fight pretty well Arby.

ArbyMaster458: So do you.

Goonter: Pretty soon, we'll both be dead.

ArbyMaster458: Over my dead body!

Arby and Goonter do one last punch. Goonter dies from Arby's punch, snapping Goonters neck. Arby then dies from his wounds.

Naruto: WAIT, YOU DIED!

ArbyMaster458: Hell yeah!

Shade-117: It's practically impossible for a human to survive his death.

ArbyMaster458: Which was why Shepard here saved my corpse. Here's how it happened.

*Flashback starts with Shepard boarding Goonter's ship. As he is searching for survivors, he spots Arby's dead body*

Shepard: Joker we've found a kid, he's dead but we'll be able to use the Lazarus project to bring him back.

Joker: Alright, I'll have Mordin and Miranda working on him, just bring his body to the lab in The Normandy.

Shepard: Alright.

*In the Normandy, The Lazarus Project works on tending Arby's wounds, healing him, and making sure the project works again. Later on, he starts waking up.*

ArbyMaster458: Am I dead?

Miranda: Patient seems to show signs of recovery. You alright kid?

ArbyMaster458: God??? Is that you?

Miranda: You may show signs of dizziness, oh and I'm not God.

ArbyMaster458: Are you The Devil?

Miranda:.....Are you drunk?

ArbyMaster458:......No.

Miranda: Then it's a no.

*Arby then starts to hallucinate*

Miranda: Watch it kid, you're not ready to walk yet. I'll help you up.

ArbyMaster458 in his somewhat drunk state: Wow sexy lady, you're so hot, I should date you than that pain in the ass Mokko at my home planet.

Miranda: Sorry kid, I already have Shepard dating me, so I'm not available.

ArbyMaster458: You know what screw it, I'm gonna do you like what Superman did to Lois Lane.

Shepard: That's enough kid.

ArbyMaster458: Are you......you know what I was just kidding, I still love Mokko. That, and I'm not hallucinating, just trying to make a funny.

Shepard:....Okay.

ArbyMaster458: So, where am I?

Shepard: You're in the Normandy.

ArbyMaster458: Cool pad, I should think about making a ship for my friends at home.

Tali: Shepard I just heard that you brought back a human.

Shepard: Yes Tali we have another human in our ship.

ArbyMaster458:.....What is she?

Shepard: Oh she's just a quarian, she's nice and great at tech.

ArbyMaster458: So....I'm in a ship with aliens........COOOOL!

Shepard: Well he sure adapted to his surroundings really quickly. Anyways, we've got work to do, I'm gonna have Thane, Grunt, Garrus, and Mordin to babysit you, just in case you do anything stupid.

ArbyMaster458: ArbyMaster458: So I have to be watched by a green guy, a tank bred fat guy, a somewhat wounded war veteran, and a...........Bill Nye The Science Guy Look-a-like.

Shepard: But they're the best there is. Now are there any questions you want to tell me

ArbyMaster458:......Is there a food court in this ship?

Shepard: Just take the elevator to level 3.

ArbyMaster458: Okay.

*When Arby meets with his babysitters..

ArbyMaster458: So.......you guys are part of his crew.

Garrus: Yes, yes we are. I am Garrus, Shepard's old colleague during the battle against Saren.

Grunt: I am Urdnot Grunt tank-bred from Okeer, and powerful Krogan.

ArbyMaster458: YOU'RE TANK-BRED! THAT's GrOSS!

Garrus: He meant that he was an experiment.

ArbyMaster458: Oh....no hard feelings?

Grunt:.....I want to kill you.

Garrus: This here is Thane Krios, he's an assassin.

Thane: Nice to meet you.

ArbyMaster458: Sweet an assassin, now we're talking!

Garrus: And this is Mordin Solus, he's a salarian scientist.

ArbyMaster458:..